Someone from Bleach clogged the Couple’s Quiz toilet!
by chrischin12
Summary: Just an SNL sketch with Bleach characters in it that I thought would be a funny idea


(**Okay, so I by no means own this skit, SNL, and Bleach. This is not an original sketch, this was taken from the episode where Jonah Hill is the host and the sketch he's in involves someone on a game show clogging the toilet. It sounded really funny in my head but it's probably gonna look stupid typed out. Anyways, hope you like. As far as the characters go, the only difference is Kisuke replacing Kenan Thompson. Everybody else is themselves.)**

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An obnoxious stereotypical game show jingle began to play, as a poorly put together logo for the fake game show appeared on screen.

**_Couples quiz, couples quiz! _**

**_Let's see how smart your partner is!_**

**_On couples quiz! _**

Kisuke Urahara jogged out from backstage, the normally disshelved man was now cleanly shaven and wearing a black suit with a blood red tie. His normally messy and unkempt hair was now cut and slicked back, making him look actually presentable.

Two couples to the right of the camera clapped for him as he made his way to his podium, the audience's applause fading away as he stopped.

"Alright!" He smiled, "I'm your host, Kisuke Urahara. Welcome to Couple's Quiz, where couples put their heads together to win big." He gestured towards the couples.

"You guys excited?" He asked cheerfully. This was met with enthusiastic applause from both pairs.

"You know it, Kisuke!" A short, brown haired young woman from the couple on the left side shouted.

"Awesome!" He exclaimed. His smile quickly disappeared, turning into a slight frown. "But before we do, my producers just informed me that we have a little situation that we need to take care of." He picked up the fan that he normally carried around with him, awkwardly fanning himself as he looked straight into the camera.

"Uh, seems that one of our contestants has clogged up one of the toilets in the bathrooms backstage." A loud congregational "Ew!" emanated from the audience. The four contestants each shared a look of disgust.

He put his fan down. "Yeah, so it would really be nice to know who did that, then we can start playing." He smiled, looking towards the couples, shrugging at them. "Sooo, who did this?"

Both of the couples looked at themselves, all silently agreeing that none of them had. Taking this as an unanswered question, Kisuke shook his head.

"Really? Nobody did this?" He motioned over at the couple on the right. "Uryu and Orihime from Karakura?" Uryu shook his head, adjusting his glasses and fixing his tie. "Wasn't me." He said cooly. He turned to face his orange haired partner. "Wasn't me either, that's gross!" She scrunched her face.

He then looked at the pair on the left. "Okay, over to Ichigo and Rukia from the Soul Society. Ichigo, was it you?" The messy orange haired teen shook his head. "Hell no, that wasn't me." A scowl formed on his face.

"Rukia?" The tiny brown haired woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat, quickly glancing from left to right.

"RUKIA?" He asked again in a more aggressive, accusatory tone.

"What?? No, of course not. Why does it even matter? Let's just play the game." She shot back, eager to move along.

"Well, hang on Rukia. Someone's gotta pay for this." He chuckled. "So whoever did it needs to look into the camera and say so right now. It's a legal thing."

The camera switched to Rukia, zooming in to get a better shot of her face. She jumped in surprise, realizing that she was getting zoomed in on. "Don't point the camera at me! I didn't do it!" She shouted in protest.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Listen midget, old hat n' clogs just needs to know who did it." Rukia grit her teeth and raised her shoulders. "But I didn't do it!" She said through her pearly whites.

"Just say it already!" Orihime shouted from the other seat.

Rukia shook her head. "Okay, I will say this. I did..go in there but when I got to the toilet it was already clogged!"

Kisuke put a finger to his ear, apparently listening to someone who was speaking to him through a hidden microphone. "Wait, hold on. My producers said that it looked like somebody went ON TOP of the clog, and that's why it's so bad."

Ichigo scrunched his nose in disgust. "Oh my god, midget. Did you really go on top of the clog??" He asked, clearly grossed out. Rukia's cheeks turned a bright red.

"No! No!" She shouted.

"Rukia, that's what they said it looks like." He shook his head. She leaned in to whisper to Ichigo. "Just, tell them to turn these cameras off and I'll talk to you."

She wasn't very quiet, because everyone, ESPECIALLY Kisuke, heard her. "NUH UH! NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME!" He pointed his thumb back at himself. "This footage must go to our lawyers!"

Rukia's eyes widened. "WHY?" She asked in disbelief. "This is not a trial Mr. Urahara!" Ichigo leaned over to Rukia. "You're just making yourself look guilty, ya know?"

Rukia started to sweat, "Look, let's just play the game already!" She reached to the side and retrieved her playing card. "Umm, okay! I did this once at a party."

Ichigo raised both of his hands in a questioning manner. "Clog a toilet?"

"NO!" Rukia shouted once more. "Look! BREAK DANCE! BREAK DANCE!" She held the card up in the orange haired teen's face obnoxiously for him to see.

"PUT THAT CARD DOWN!" Kisuke shouted, pointing directly at Rukia. "You do NOT get to play!" His eyes widened in a comedic angry fashion. "Now stop FOOLIN' around."

Rukia put both of her tiny hands in her lap. "Why is this such a big deal?" She asked, flustered.

Kisuke pointed at his podium. "THIS IS A HISTORICAL BUILDING! IT HAS BEEN LANDMARKED. THE HEAD CAPTAIN OF THE SOUL SOCIETY BUILT IT FROM THE GROUND UP!" He started to pant, his rant not quite finished yet. "Anytime we do ANY kind of a repair, we have to consult with a bunch of hard asses from Central Forty-Six! So this is a HUGE deal."

Ichigo let out a loud sigh of annoyance. "Rukia, just tell them the damn truth already. Just SAY it."

Uryu had his hand around Orihime. "Just say it already! Own up to it!" Uryu said.

Rukia shook her head, finally caving. "OKAY! OKAY OKAY! I clogged the toilet and then later in the day I went back in there and went ON TOP of the clog."

Kisuke had a hilarious look of disgust on his face.

"HAPPY?" The short Soul Reaper asked.

"So, you're admitting to BOTH clogs?" He asked to clarify.

Ichigo covered his face with his hand, shaking his head. "Oh my god, midget. BOTH?"

"THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!" Rukia shouted. "Look, things were happening so fast and I clearly made the wrong call. I doubled down and I lost!"

Ichigo sighed once more. "Rukia, you promised." Said Soul Reaper gritted her teeth. "Fine, you want a confession?" She pointed at a group of cameras. "Which camera?" She asked, her answer quickly given by a camera man who pointed towards his own, trying his best not to laugh. "This one? Okay, I Rukia Kuchiki, clogged the motherflipping toilet like a wild animal that should live under a porch!" She tried to catch her breath.

Back at the Soul Society, Byakuya Kucihiki stared at the TV in shock, the rest of Squad six each had identical expressions.

A sound effect that chimes when an answer is correct 'binged' rapidly.

The camera switched back to Kisuke, his eyes wide as he tried to process what had just happened. He then smiled, making it look like nothing had happened. "Well, that sound means the game is over."

"WHAT?" Rukia asked, standing up.

Kisuke pointed over to Uryu and Orihime. "And Uryu and Orihime, you two are going to MAUIIIII!" He stretched the I as best as he could, the couple cheering and celebrating.

"Why do THEY win?" Rukia asked. Ichigo crossed his arms and shook his head. "You KNOW why, Rukia."

"Yeah, yeah, you KNOW why." Kisuke shouted, before looking back at the camera with a smile. "Well, that's it for me, Kisuke Urahara! Thank you for joining us on Couples Quiz!"

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(AN: **I'm sorry if any of you were hoping that Ichigo and Orihime would be a couple or that Renji and Rukia would be. I was considering having Ichigo be the culprit, but I just thought it would be funnier to have someone you'd never think do something like that, DO something like that. Anyways, feel free to critique and review.)**


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